You may have been completely unaware that Bike Gob has been a bit quiet of late. Bike Gob wishes to apologise even to those who hadn't noticed, but does have the best of excuses, that being the occurence of The Glasgow Cycle Festival. So much biking has been happening here in the last few weeks that Bike Gob has had no breath left to gob. But now that the festival is over, Bike Gob wishes to be gobby once again, with a report on some of the things Bike Gob went to at the festival, in the style of a lazy reviewer from the Metro.

Glasgow Cycling Festival Review Time

Bike Week at Alexandra Park * * *
A scattering of bicycling encouragements for the east end locals including Dr Bike, a pump track (with get back on the horse motto), and time trials around the mountain bike trails.
Best things - The massive pure mad mental bike stunt air cushion AirBag. Bike Gob doing so well at the puncture repair competition (#whoisbikegob #moreonthislater). Mungo's Hi Fi the following week.
Worst things - Kids trying to ride then steal the tandem. The portaloos.


Cycle Hack * * * *
Fearlessly risking blowing Bike Gob's cover, Bike Gob donned a moustache like that in Siempre's window, moved amongst the hipsters, and bravely tweeted live from the hack (#whoisbikegob #moreonthislater). Despite the infectious and abundant enthusiasm, knowledge and skills present though, no one was able to come up with a hack to streamline Alec from Trakke's beard. Or. Hover. Bikes.
Best things - The Penny in your Pocket hack. Pizza and beer.
Worst things - Wig helmets. Hipsters.

Women's Heritage Cycle Trail Launch * * * * *
To celebrate the Glasgow Women's Library producing of a free map for one and all of a cycle trail following the Clyde, with information about women and cycling history along the way, this was an informative, super fun and friendly day out. Without taking Bike Gob into account (#whoisbikegob #moreonthislater) only one brave man attended the ride with a child on his bike, in a peloton of women. Several attendees used the newly launched hire bikes (call them Gallusmobiles to Bike Gob's face and you'll get a ratchet in your spokes) with great compliments on the handling of the machines, and not so much on the whole phone app hiring process.
Best Things - Bicycle Face revelations
Worst Things - Velodrome security jobsworths


Festival Closing BBQ and Mural Unveiling * * * * *
At Freewheel North in Glasgow Green, a true mish mash of people, bikes, sun, and awesome food from Locavore made for a brilliant closing party.
Best Things - Unicycle lessons. Craziest bike spotting.
Worst Things - Not being offered a sausage to go with Bike Gob's quinoa. The pronounciation of quinoa.


In conclusion, these are but a dab of lube on the things Bike Gob did during the Glasgow Cycle Festival, but Bike Gob needs to go and get a chocolate milk to recover now and will leave it at that. There may be more to come on the Bike Week Stirling Alleycat dragon slaying, and maybe mention will arise of other rides (#moreonthislater #whoisbikegob #hashtaggingthehelloutofit #downwithhashtags) but for now, Bike Gob wishes to thank the organisers of the festival, those who updated the online program to an easier to read format, the friends Bike Gob met and made along the paved road, Bike Gob's Mum and Dad, Bike Gob's mechanic, Bike Gob's never failing drive train, and bids you goodnight.